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Why All Good Friends Aren’t Good Vacation Buddies

A few years ago, I had the opportunity to go to Vegas for the first time. I had never been and was excited to go and see and do. A small group of us—about five–were supposed to go but it ended up being just me and my girlfriend Phoebe.*

It was May, which may as well have been the month of Hell because that’s how hot it was, and we were there for five or six days.

Worst. Vacation. Ever.

But it was Vegas, you say. How can you have a bad time in Vegas? It wasn’t Vegas. It was Phoebe.

Now understand that Phoebe is my homey. She’s smart, pretty, funny and real. At home, we hung out a lot and made great memories every time we did. The problem was we had different vacation styles.

Vacation what? Yeah, I’d never thought of such a thing before either, but it’s a real issue. Let me explain.

As vacation styles go, you have two extremes and then variations that fall in the middle. On the one end of the spectrum, there are people like me who want to go and see and do as much as possible. I want to see all the sights, partake in all the activities, eat at all the hot restaurants, take pictures with all the Disney characters, photograph all the landmarks and monuments, mail postcards, and buy souvenirs and T-shirts.

I-love-my-best-Friend-forever-bff-T-ShirtsPhoebe, bless her soul, is at the other end of the spectrum. When Phoebe vacations, about the most exciting thing she wants to do is have brunch. I said brunch because she gets up too late for breakfast. Go? See? Do? Not so much. Phoebe’s type is just content to window shop. Not go in, try something on, and complain about the prices, but just gaze nonchalantly through the glass and amble through the days with no particular goal or destination. Shoot me now.

At home, it was a different story. Home had familiar people, places and sights, and we knew what we liked at home. We knew, more or less, what we were going to get before we got there and we already loved it and everybody was happy. But take the same people and put them in a different place, different setting and different time zone, away from all that’s familiar to them? Some of us come alive! And some of us pretty much go comatose.

When I tell you we didn’t do anything or go anywhere that week in Vegas, I’m not exaggerating. We didn’t even make it to the Other. End. Of. The. Strip.

Nightlife, schmightlife! Why stay out late and go dancing when you can just go to bed? I had to beg Phoebe—BEG her!—to have a drink with me downstairs in the lobby lounge of our hotel. You’d have thought I had asked her to jump into the deep end of the pool with no water wings. I would rather have been leaving the club at the Palms Hotel just as the sun was coming up, but I had to take—I mean beg for—what I could get.

Vacation-300x232I love Phoebe. She’s been a dear friend to me for over a decade. And I say with every affection that I will never vacation with Phoebe again. Hanging out at home? Absolutely. Driving to any number of local attractions? I’m there. Having to board a plane or ship? Girl, I’ll see you when you get back. *Mwah!*

Tips For Vacationing Successfully With Friends and Other Loved Ones

Every good friend/loved one is not a good vacation buddy. It is vital to the success of your vacation that you understand the travel styles of your fellow travelers.

You must first understand what the word “vacation” means to the person/people you’re traveling with and what kind of vacation it’s supposed to be.

There are no phone/no watch vacations that often involve consecutive days at a beach with an alcoholic beverage. And then there are bachelorette party vacations in places like Atlantic City and Las Vegas. Also with an alcoholic beverage.

Also, when your potential vacation buddy has traveled in the past, did they come back with stories about all the things they did? All the places they went? People they met? Did they take lots of pictures of different things in different places? Or did they only have pictures of the morning, Noon and night views out of the same window or from the same beach chair?

Yet another way to gauge the vacation style of your potential travel buddy is to ask questions. The answers to these questions can give you an idea about whether you will have a wonderful time or whether you should pass up this particular trip.

  1. Do you plan to get up early for any reason?
  2. Do you plan to stay up late for any reason?
  3. Do you plan to leave the hotel/resort/villa at all during our stay?
  4. Do you plan to do something other than eat, sleep and chill during this vacation?
  5. Is the thought of a guided tour fun or frightening?
  6. Are you a sightseer or are you content to just look out the window?
  7. Do you like to see and do new things?
  8. Were you thinking about doing anything or going anywhere in particular while we’re in (insert destination here)  ?

Really good vacations allow time to be both the “Type A” vacationer, like me, and the “Type B” vacationer, like my girl Phoebe. Whichever type you are, here’s to a wonderful, memorable vacation! Take lots of pictures! Or not.

(*All names have been changed for privacy.)

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